Sara and I kept finding ourselves saying, "We should get together with such and such a couple". The list was building. How were we going to find an evening to have dinner with each of these couples? Then it dawned on us. We could have a couples party.
It took about to two years to act on the idea but it was the right timing because this year Valentines fell on a Friday leaving the evening after a perfect time for the event.
Something I've been doing lately regarding intentions is called the 7 Wize.
You state your intention and keep going deeper asking why the reason you came up with is significant. I did this process the morning of.
Here's the breakdown.
Why do this couples party?
1. Because couple's are important.
Why are couple's important?
2. Because couple's are a model for people relating to each other. It's like we're on the front line, in the trenches, figuring out how people can coexist.
Why is important for people to learn how to coexist?
3. Because all the problems in the world are caused by people and the reason the problems exist is because we don't know how to relate to one another. Every other species knows how to be the species they are. All except humans.
Why is it important for humans to know how to be a species?
4. Human is a combination of two words. HU is an Egyptian word meaning Divine utterance or voice of authority. Man refers to the species that we are. Put them together and we get a species with the voice of authority. Our potential is enormous. Unfortunately we don't understand or identify much with the Divine component or how it integrates with the mammal. If we did, the way we think, feel and act would be very different, both in terms of our interactions with each other and our interactions with the planet and it's other species.
Why is it important for us to realize the divinity of our species?
5. As a species, when we humans live up to our potential then we become the manifestation of God on Earth.
Why is important for God to manifest through us?
6. Because then existence comes full circle with the creation of Heaven on Earth.
Why is Heaven on Earth important?
7. Because it's the fullest expression of the Universe.
And you thought you would just get married and live happily ever after.
One of the things we did at our couple party was we each shared a tip. This tip is a tool or useful approach in navigating the waters of couple-hood.
Here are the 24 tips in the order they we're shared:
1. Eleven hugs a day
2. Ask questions, rather than assume you know what's happening with another.
3. Honesty
4. Timeless time - Create time together that has no schedules attached.
5. Pre - prayer - ration: Set intention before coming together.
6. Connect to source - Your own inner connection is foremost.
More about connecting with Source
7. Ask permission - If you have an issue, perspective, opinion or advice you'd like to share with your partner, ask permission first.
8. Self Clearing - Take responsibility for your energy field.
More about clearing your energy
9. I love you - Remember to say this in both the easy and difficult times.
10. Humor
11. Sleeping in - Every once in a while stay in bed with your partner, luxuriating in each other's presence.
12. The heat is on me - When you are in judgement of another, find in yourself that thing you are critical of in them. You'll always find it.
13. That person is me - When you feel separation, remind yourself that you are one and that the other person is yourself.
14. Kindness
15. Clearing the shadow - Couplehood is sacred work. We get to experience parts of ourselves that we would not have encountered otherwise. When you do meet such a shadow element, recognize it, create a relationship with it, review the belief system and update the job description.
16. Listen
17. Having a common practice - Sharing activities, whether they be recreational, creative, therapeutic or spiritual can give a couple a strong foundation.
18. Commitment - Couple hood is not an easy path. It requires commitment.
19. Ask, "What would ease the situation?" This question can reveal a simple act that can make difficult situations much easier.
20. You make the mess, you clean it up! Admit your mistakes and fix them.
21. Communication - Getting things out on the table is usually the best approach.
22. When you get triggered go for a walk - You don't literally have to go for a walk in all circumstances but take responsibility for your moods and learn to self soothe.
23. Face you own mortality - In comparison to death, most "issues" seems trivial.
24. Practice gratitude - Last but not least.
More on the benefits of Gratitude
Conclusion:
We forget why we make the decision to go as two rather than one. It's a huge undertaking both on a universal and personal level. It makes sense to honor and support ourselves and others that are doing this and to glean from each other what we have learned.
How are you supporting couple-hood?
